Yesterday as I loaded
four generations into my truck i should have known something
blog worthy would happen. I should have know it would be my
mother to make the headlines and I should have know it was because she would act like a
princess.
Players:
Myself ,
Mammy(my grandma),
Gammy (my mom) and
D-iii (my son)
Game plan: Costco, and pedicures with the
possibility of Target (we knew we would go, we are
addicts) Simple....?
Maybe it was the
full moon. The unspoken tension our family always seems to have. The fact none of us had
eaten responsibly that day. Or for sake of the blog but shit was bound to go wrong....
Being a
responsible mother I didn't want my child to
hangout in the nail salon, so while gammy was getting her nails done, mammy, d-iii and I were to run to Costco to get the makings for a stock pile of
breakfast burritos. Then we would come back, I would get
30 minutes to myself getting my feet scrubbed while gammy and mammy walked the kid around
Traders Joes.
As I pull in front of said nail salon, my mom has a
blank look on her face, the kind of look that makes you laugh and question what is
(or isn't) going on in their head. and as we have a stare down I realize she has
zero clue what is going on and that I'm waiting for her to launch her skinny ass out of the car, so i can get out of the crazy busy parking lot. Finally and very
bluntly I say
"well get out now!", she did, still very confused but then Costco was a go.
Costco went well other then the samples. I had mammy rolling laughing when i suggested how
disgusting a plate would look if you took all the samples and waited to eat them together. We had perogies, scalloped potatoes with ham, tiramisu, sausage, bread, pizza bread (all four types as the sales guy
"forced" me) crackers and cheese, bean burrito, trail mix, fish stick with ranch, pot stickers and washed it down with San Pellegrino, blood orange Martinelli's, and some orange vanilla vitamin drink that tasted like a melted creamsicle
mixed with poison. Maybe it was the mix of food, maybe it was me but I had more
energy then should be possible and i was jumping and
frolicking down the aisles, up until a lady was pushing her cart so close to my
ass that i literally stopped and moved out of her way announcing as she passed
"Loooooook out, someonnnnnes in a hurrrrrry! GO GO GO!!" If i hadn't been using my
baby as protection i may have gotten my ass kicked, but i guess people don't hit people with babies.
We get back in the car and head to
wrangle gammy and see what kind of nonsense was going on with her.
Surprisingly none. Pedis are a success and my my toes are painted a color called
"fearless". or as i like to call it...
Summer.
We go through the motions to drive two miles down the road to
Target and that is when the real fun happens....
I drive a
full size truck. Parking spots in this town are catered to
compact cars. Target was busy. All of these factors lead to my decision to park towards the back of the parking lot and skip the
hassle of squeezing my
red hot truck in between a
Prius and a
Honda.
((Que Gammy melt down))
Sitting in the back seat gammy nearly starts
crying, because she is hungry and doesn't want to walk, and she will not go out in the wind, and just leave her in the car,
blah blah blah!! The mom in me came out, I snapped that if she wouldn't go inside with us, then no one was going and we would be
homeward bound. As I'm backing out of the parking spot she starts
whining "...but i would go if you just drop me off out front!"
SERIOUSLY! ((So I stated earlier that I'm a Target addict, and that is no joke, i go through withdrawals if i don't go at least once a week, sometimes if I'm distracted i can wait to go ever two weeks)) Due to my
addiction i gave in to her
childish tantrum.
Once her
majesty Princess Gammy departed the vehicle i didn't want to walk either. There are these really handy
FEV (fuel efficient vehicle)
Reserved spots right up front. Clearly
NOT for my type of ride but empty and i have
"out of state" plates so when in Rome.... (when we left the store all of the previously empty spots are filled and my truck stuck out like a sore thumb,
hehe OPPS)
Now for the Fun:
My first
real job was at Target but that ended nearly a
decade ago. Considering the length of my
love affair with the store it comes as no surprise that i believe the company should
pay me to shop in their store.
NOT because i spent too much money and waste even more time there, but because I'm a nature
"helper",
especially in the baby department. Last visit alone, I sold a crib, modeled an Ergo and helped a lady pick one for herself, offered advise on the best
*chemically free* baby wash, and my choice in diaper wipes.
Commission Anyone? Today our visit was to
test highchairs. Sadly of the many many choice they only carried
two in store, so what does my family do?...we take them off the shelf and "
test" them out. Testing them out to most people would mean
setting the kid in them,
judging the ease of use and putting them back. We went a step further....we saw how
far the highchair could
go down the aisle with a single
PUSH! The
Graco beat the
Chicco by a long shot!
Slowly the day wound to an end and we all went home happy.
But in my family its never a dull moment.